C'mon, shed a TEAR..drop

Last night I’m sitting and thinking of my new blog, with excitement and anticipation of what I want to say next. I had all sorts of thoughts going through my mind. Perhaps I’ll talk about my new venture with mine and Mariah’s Teardrop Camper! ! We’re so excited it should be ready in a few weeks, then we’re off to see the world. I sit and daydream about leaving all this behind and living like gypsies, traveling from cool wooded fields to foggy cliffs by the beach… she’s selling her reggae jewelry (that she started making thanks to my mom teaching her to crochet!), and I could open a taco stand out of the back of our Teardrop. (In case you don’t know what that is… check it out!!!). We could be free to travel and take our time seeing the world never knowing from one day to the next where we would end up… Ahhh that sounds like the life.. Yet, being the ‘bit’ of realist that I am, I realize at this point that would be running away from my problems. I’ve done that once in my life and it didn’t work out so well, so now, reality is.. I need a better plan.
Of course after that thought, I amused myself writing a conversation where Riley, asked me why his Mom is a bitch. I know, I know, kids shouldn’t say those sorts of things, but when you look at him, well, he really does have a point.

I could write pages and pages of the musings of Riley. There’s not a day goes by he doesn’t tell the funniest joke or make fun of me in only a way that he can and I can’t help from feeling so blessed even if I am stressed beyond belief.

I also thought about some of the lessons I’ve learned these past few years and thought about writing on those, but decided I didn’t want my blog to start out as a depressed memoir of sorts that made the readers feel sad or sorry for me. It’s funny, I have been through a lot, but honestly, I am a happy person. I truly have a wonderful life. I have amazing friends, a wonderful friend to enjoy life with, loving family, the best freaking dog in the whole wide world!!!, a beautiful home, a job, a bit of health.. could be better, could be much worse, and at 39 I can still go without a bra without my boobs sagging to my knees, so hey, I have a lot to be thankful for!!!

All these thoughts…what should I write about. I was so excited.. then it happened. Insomnia. Oh my! It was horrible. I awoke around 2:00 from a dream that I was covered in red ants. Of course after that I was itching all over! (Btw, of course I had to look up the meaning of that.. it’s either pending serious illness that’s already started affecting my body, hmmm Lyme? Or it’s annoying people at work invading my space. Gee… could be either!! Not going to worry so much about the ants). So I toss and turn… Riley’s growling at me…. “stop it lady!!! You’re ruining my beauty sleep!!!”, I get down on the floor with a blanket.. I’ve done this since I was a child…if I couldn’t sleep I would put my pillow and blanket on the floor and within no time, I’m snoozing away. No go last night. A couple hours later I realize I only have the chance to get an hour and a half sleep before the alarm. I go to the guest room.. Maybe a darker room, a different bed, maybe then I can go to sleep. 30 minutes tossing in that bed only made me more frustrated, then back to my bed where I find Riley all sprawled out like a ‘plump-when-you-cook-it hot dog’ that growls at me again when I lie down. With 25 minutes to go before the alarm goes off, I ALMOST go to sleep… almost.

So, today I thought about skipping the blog. My mind isn’t exactly feeling creative. The only creativity I’m feeling right now includes pjs and a bed with nice comfy sheets, but I didn’t want to loose my momentum before I even start.

Perhaps I’ll go home and nap and wake up with all sorts of amazing creative thoughts and ideas. Perhaps I’ll dream of red ants again. Maybe Mariah and I will just sit and daydream about being traveling gypsies.. Or maybe I’ll just hope for sleep tonight!!!!